


Crooked Smile

by breakable_girls_and_boys



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakable_girls_and_boys/pseuds/breakable_girls_and_boys
Summary: Holly returns after two years in San Francisco. Some things are very different, and some things are very much the same.
Relationships: Gail Peck/Holly Stewart, Gail Peck/Original Female Character(s), Traci Nash/Steve Peck
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a VERY angsty fic. It will end happy, I promise. But you have been warned.

_~This empty end was never something of your choosing_

_You could have won but you were much too busy losing~_

Holly’s flight docked at the Toronto Pearson International Airport gate at exactly 23:37. She grabbed her bag and her carry on and followed the rest of the passengers off of the plane. Holly trudged her way to baggage claim to meet her friends and collect her luggage. Most of her belongings were being shipped from San Fransisco this week, so all she had brought with her were enough clothes to get through the week and several of her favorite books. Turning the corner, she saw her friends Lisa and Rachel waiting for her at the baggage claim. Immediately, she picked up her pace and when she was within a reasonable distance, she dropped her belongings and jogged the rest of the way, enveloping her two friends in a tight hug.

“You are not allowed to leave. Ever again,” Rachel said, squeezing Holly back. 

Holly released her friends and walked back to retrieve her abandoned belongings, and the three of them sauntered over to the baggage claim area to wait for Holly’s other bag.

“I still don’t know why you came back. I would have stayed in San Francisco,” Lisa said as she pulled her jacket tighter around herself. “It’s too goddamn cold here.” 

“It was great, but this is home. I missed you guys too much,” Holly replied just as she spotted her bag. Shouldering her way through bystanders, she hoisted her bag off the conveyer belt and hauled it back towards the other two women. 

As the three friends began the walk to the car, Holly continued, “Don’t get me wrong, I loved every moment of my job and the opportunity it provided. But San Franciscans are weird and I missed the cold.”

“Well that’s great and all, but two years is just way too long. We need a good old fashioned girls’ night,” Rachel said.

“Yes!” Lisa exclaimed. “Ooo, there’s a new club I’ve been dying to check out!”

“We can absolutely have a girls’ night, but not tonight,” Holly said. Rachel pouted while Lisa began to whine something about how Holly ‘doesn’t really love us’. 

“I’m tired,” Holly continued, “I just spent the last five hours on a plane. I’m jet-lagged. I’m going home, and I’m going right to bed.”

Rachel helped Holly load her luggage in the trunk before climbing into the driver’s seat. Holly joined her in the front passenger seat, while Lisa flopped into the back seat, still sulking and mumbling ‘Holly the buzzkill’ under her breath.

The 20 minute car ride was spent mostly in silence. Holly was trying too hard to keep her eyes open to deal with Lisa’s broodiness, and Rachel was content to let them be. Rachel pulled into the driveway of Holly’s townhouse and popped the trunk. She helped Holly bring her bags into the foyer. Setting her suitcase down, Holly sleepily turned to her friend.

“Get some rest, girl,” Rachel said, smiling at Holly, who was too exhausted to stand straight. “We’ll figure out a time to get together.”

“Thank you for picking me up,” Holly mumbled, stumbling forward to pull her friend into a brief hug.

“Any time. We’re glad you’re back.” With that, Rachel turned and left, closing the door softly behind her. 

Holly threw the lock and dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom, not even bothering with her bags. She fell on top of her bed fully clothed, asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

* * *

A week after Holly’s return, Lisa had finally gotten her wish: the three friends were on their way to a new club. Holly couldn’t remember the name of it at the moment, and she wasn’t overly thrilled about going out. She had wanted to stay home and read in a hot a bath, but Lisa had called her a recluse and reminded her that she had abandoned them for two whole years. So Holly had conceded and gotten dressed up. As the three of them approached the club, she remembered the other reason she wasn’t thrilled: the club was obnoxiously named Lush, which was obviously meant to convey that this was an upper class establishment. In Holly’s opinion, it was quite ironic. And judging by the group of scantily clad sorority girls in front of them, she knew exactly the kind of people who frequented this establishment, so it was no surprise Lisa had dragged them here. 

Holly handed the bouncer her ID as he eyed her simple button up shirt and jeans with thinly veiled disapproval. She yanked her ID back and mumbled an insincere ‘thanks’ as he waved her through the door. Following Lisa and Rachel to the bar, she took in the crowd of people swarming it and grimaced. She’d have a hard time getting a drink tonight, what with all the bartenders drooling over the half-dressed women. 

Rachel and Holly shared a look of misery. Lisa, completely oblivious, waved enthusiastically at a man by the bar and rushed over to greet him. Holly and Rachel remained where they stood, taking in their surroundings. The club had an upper level, with tables and balconies where patrons could look down on the dance floor. The main level had chairs and tables lining the walls, but most of the floor was devoted to the dance floor and DJ booth, where an overly passionate man moved rhythmically back and forth between spin tables. 

Minutes later, Lisa and the man from the bar were walking back towards them, several drinks in hand. Lisa handed Rachel and Holly each a mixed drink. 

“Guys, this is Ryan. He and I did our residency together,” Lisa introduced the man next to her. 

Ryan smiled at the two of them as Holly took in his appearance. He was dressed in a sleek black suit, his dark hair was slicked back and beard short and precisely trimmed. Of course he was a plastic surgeon. 

“My friends have a table over against the wall, if you ladies would like to sit down?” Ryan suggested, gesturing to the wall across the room.

“Sure,” Rachel said cheerfully.

Holly shot her friend a look of betrayal. Rachel laughed and bumped Holly with her hip.

“Come on, indulge your inner sorority girl,” she said as she and Holly trailed after Lisa and Ryan.

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Holly was working on her 6th drink. To say she was a little buzzed was an understatement. Ryan’s friends kept buying her and Rachel drinks, and she was not about to turn down the free alcohol. Rachel was sitting in the corner, being flirted with by one of Ryan’s friends. She thought he had said his name was Mike? It was thoroughly entertaining: Mike was trying very hard to get Rachel to dance with him, and Rachel was very politely shutting him down at every turn. 

While Holly was distracted, one of the other men at the table made his way over to her. 

“Can I get you another drink?” he asked as he set his own drink on the table, situating himself directly in front of her. 

Holly looked up at him and shook her head no.

“Thank you, though,” she said.

“You sure?” He said with a toothy smile, shifting forward a little. He was wearing a grey-blue shirt with a solid black tie and black slacks. His long blonde hair was tied back in a pretentious man-bun and his beard was short and neat. “I’m Chad.”

“Holly,” she replied. 

“So Holly, what do you do?”

“I’m a forensic pathologist,” Holly answered and took a sip of her drink.

“So you’re like a doctor? Very hot,” Chad drawled, running his eyes over Holly’s body and reaching for his own drink. 

Holly choked on her Caesar, but Chad didn’t seem to notice. 

“Uh, sure,” Holly giggled, “if you’re a necrophiliac.”

A confused look crossed Chad’s face.

Holly laughed harder. “Never mind.”

Chad shrugged off the comment and smiled at her once again.

“So, do you wanna dance or maybe get out of here?” Chad asked as he took a step closer, looking over-eager.

“Look, Chad, you seem really…” Holly struggled to find the right word, “uh, nice. But I—”

Holly’s sentence was cut short as something flashed in the corner of her eye. Holly turned to see what it was that had distracted her. As the object came into focus, Holly froze. Her breath hitched and she dropped her drink.

“Shit!” Chad yelled. “My shoes! What the fuck is your problem?”

Rachel was there in a flash, shoving Chad away from Holly. She had turned at Chad’s outburst and immediately saw who Holly was looking at. 

Gail Peck was standing by the bar, drink in hand. Next to her was Traci Nash and Gail’s brother, Steve. Her hair was longer than Holly remembered, down past her shoulders. Her hair had soft curls and was pulled back behind her ear on one side. She was wearing dark jeans and a fitted, red henley. 

The three of them began moving towards the tables. Towards Holly. Rachel saw the exact moment that Gail registered Holly’s presence. Gail paused, turned to Traci and Steve, who had happened upon an empty table, and spoke to them before making her way towards Holly. 

Holly had finally remembered how to breathe. Abruptly standing from the chair, she took a couple steps towards Gail.

“Holly, hey,” Gail said quietly. Holly could barely hear her above the roar of the music.

Holly gulped. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Gail repeated.

“You said that already.” Holly said, smiling.

“You know, it sounded familiar,” Gail quipped. She took another step towards Holly and continued, “How is San Fransisco?”

“It’s good. Too hot for my tastes. I actually just moved back to Toronto.”

Gail’s eyes widened briefly before her stoicism returned. She nodded once.

“How have you been, Gail?” Holly asked. 

“Good, I’ve been good,” Gail answered. She was about to say something else but was interrupted by the approach of another woman, who put her arm around Gail’s waist. 

“Hey babe,” the woman chirped, flashing Gail with a dazzling smile.

Gail looked at her and then back at Holly. Sadness flashed briefly across her features but was quickly replaced with a hard look.

“Holly, this is my fiancée, Sarah. Sarah, this is my old friend, Holly.” Gail’s voice was soft but flat as she introduced the two. 

Holly felt her heart plummet. Nausea roiled in her stomach and her mouth went dry. Blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay, she extended her hand to the other woman. At that very moment, Rachel swooped in and grabbed Holly’s arm. 

“Gail, hi! Lovely to see you. I’m so sorry, but I need to steal Holly away, it’s an emergency,” Rachel said pleasantly, taking Holly by the shoulder and physically turning her back towards Ryan’s group. 

Holly turned to glance back at Gail, lifting a hand in a feeble goodbye. Gail nodded at Holly in return and led Sarah back towards Traci and Steve.

Holly stood like a stone while Rachel went about gathering their belongings and bundling Holly into her coat. It was then that Chad and Mike walked over.

“You guys are just gonna leave? The night has only just begun!” Mike exclaimed.

Chad grabbed Holly’s hand. “Come on, stay.”

Rachel moved between them.

“We’re leaving,” Rachel said flatly.

“You don’t speak for her,” Chad said, puffing out his chest.

“She’s gay, you nimrod,” Rachel sneered. With that she turned Holly toward the entrance and they walked out into the night. 

* * *

Gail took a long drink as she watched Rachel yank Holly out of the club. Traci watched her watch Holly.

“You ok, Gail?” Traci asked a little too knowingly.

Gail swallowed hard and nodded once.

“So how do you know her?” Sarah asked innocently. The silence her question provoked was more than a little tense. 

Gail cleared her throat. “Uh, we used to work together. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“She worked at the morgue,” Traci clarified.

“Oh, gotcha. She’s cute,” Sarah said nonchalantly and took a drink. 

Traci and Steve both looked at Gail, whose cheeks were flushed bright red. For once Gail was thankful clubs were so dark.

* * *

Having managed to get Holly out of her clothes and into her pajamas, Rachel helped her friend into bed. Holly just let her, silent and unmoving, unless pushed. 

“Did you know?” She asked at last, voice cracking.

“Did I know Gail was engaged?” Rachel clarified, tucking her in. Holly nodded. “No, I didn’t.”

Rachel sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m so sorry, hun. I didn’t even think about running into her. But also, it’s been two years, I thought you said you were over her?”

“I thought I was,” Holly whispered, twisting the sheets between her fingers.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” Rachel asked, resting a tender hand on her friend’s shoulder.

Holly nodded.

“Ok,” Rachel said. She kissed Holly’s forehead and went about changing into some of Holly’s spare pajamas. She shut off the light, crawled into bed, and held Holly as she cried herself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_ ~It makes it somewhat less appealing to be feeling like you're stealing someone else's broken heart~ _

Holly woke up with a splitting headache. Everything hurt, and she felt like she might be sick. Hobbling her way to the bathroom, she bent over the sink and groaned. She didn’t remember drinking _that_ much at the bar. And then, suddenly, she recalled grabbing a bottle from her cabinet the moment she got home and chugging as much as she could before Rachel ripped it away from her. Holly splashed cold water on her face, dried it with a towel, and then made her way to the kitchen, where the scent of bacon flooded her nostrils.

“Oh good, I was worried you might’ve drank yourself to death,” Rachel commented as she flipped an egg in the skillet.

“I wish I was dead,” Holly mumbled, flopping into a chair at the table.

“Well, maybe this will help.” Rachel set a plate of fried eggs, bacon, and toast with jam in front of her. The smell of the greasy food made her stomach rumble, and Holly quickly dove in, fork first. 

Rachel made up her own plate and sat down across from Holly.

“So, when do you go back to work?”

“Tomorrow,” Holly spoke through a mouth full of egg. 

“You are so gorgeous when you talk with your mouth full,” Rachel said sarcastically.

Holly took a big bite of her toast and smiled openly. “I know.”

Both women chortled at Holly’s antics. They finished their breakfast in silence, and when they were done, Rachel stood and began to clean up.

“You don’t have to do that.” Holly’s voice was muffled by her arms as she laid her head on the table.

“Well I’m not about to let the dishes sit here and attract all manner of creatures,” Rachel retorted.

“Rachel, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I’d say you should start with a shower, cuz you got alcohol coming out of your pores,” Rachel teased gently.

“I mean about work. About Gail.”

“Oooh,” Rachel said in understanding as she dried her hands. Hanging up the towel, she turned to face Holly and rested her arms on the table. “You go to work. You do what you always do and just… keep going. It’s gonna suck, that’s for sure. But, I know you. And I know you can make it through this.” Rachel smiled at her friend, even though Holly still had her head buried in her arms. 

“Plus, aren’t you like the boss now? Wasn’t that part of the deal? You come back and they give you a promotion? So you can hand off cases you don’t want, right?”

Holly finally looked up.

  
“Yeah. I suppose so,” Holly said as she attempted to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Ok, I’m gonna go shower. If I’m not done in 30, I’ve died and I need to you begin planning my funeral.”

The sound of Rachel’s chuckles followed Holly as she trudged her way upstairs.

* * *

“So,” Oliver said, plopping himself down on Gail’s desk. “Holly’s back.” 

“Yep,” Gail said, popping the ‘p’.

“Traci told me.” Oliver began fiddling with his fingers. “How ya doin’, darlin’?”

“I’m fine,” Gail said flatly, leaning back in her chair. 

Oliver looked her over. He could see right through that icy exterior. She wasn’t fine, but he knew that if Gail Peck didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t. 

“Well good, because there’s a homicide over on Euclid. I need you to go over there with Anderson.” Oliver patted Gail on the back before walking away.

There were already multiple squad cars on the scene and the area had been taped off by the time Gail and Frankie pulled up. Both women got out of the car and made their way into the house. They stepped carefully over the blood splattered on the floor and around the broken glass in the entry way and walked to the kitchen. Chloe and Nick turned around at the detectives’ entrance. 

“The victim is Richard Donaldson, 57 years old. Shot once in the abdomen. He lived alone,” Nick informed them. “Looks like a possible robbery gone bad. It appears that some items are missing and his wallet was picked clean.”

“Ok, let’s get someone to get a trace out on his credit cards in case the suspect is stupid enough to use them,” Frankie began, “And I want that wallet dusted for prints.”

“Murder weapon?” Gail asked.

“We’re still searching the house, but we haven’t found it yet,” Chloe answered.

“Canvass the neighbors, see if anyone saw something,” Gail ordered.

* * *

Holly was only about halfway into the autopsy when Gail Peck and a detective she did not know entered her lab. 

“So whaddya got for us, doc?” the detective asked.

Holly flashed a tentative smile at Gail before directing her attention to the other woman.

“Well, he died of exsanguination from a single gun shot wound to the left upper quadrant of the abdomen. The bullet pierced the spleen, causing the massive hemorrhage,” Holly said as she pointed to the open cadaver on her table. 

The detective stared blankly at Holly, before asking, “What?”

Holly chuckled softly, her mouth forming a lopsided smile. 

“He bled out from a single GSW to the stomach,” Holly explained.

“Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

“She did, Frankie,” Gail said. “You’re just an idiot.”

Frankie brushed off the comment and rested her hands on the exam table. 

“Did you recover the bullet?” Frankie asked.

“Hands off the table, please. And yes,” Holly said, reaching for a small plastic container and offering it to the detective. 

Frankie took the proffered evidence and held it up to the light. A small caliber bullet tumbled around inside the container. 

“Thanks,” Frankie said, nodding in Holly’s direction.

Frankie started for the door but stopped short when she realized Gail had not followed her. 

Gail stood where she was, watching Holly as she continued to examine the cadaver. Holly could feel Gail’s eyes on her, but attempted to go about her business as if no one else was there. The tension in the room was palpable and Frankie looked back and forth between the two women.

“So, uh, have… how have you been settling in?” Gail asked tentatively, staring down at her clasped hands.

The question startled Holly. She immediately stopped what she was doing and looked up at the woman standing across the table, staring for a beat.

“Uh, good. It’s been good,” Holly mused. “It’s kind of different being in charge, but I’m enjoying it so far.”

“Good, that’s good,” Gail said.

“What about you?” Holly asked. “You’re a detective now?”

“Yeah, just this past year.”

“Hey, Shaw needs us back at the precinct, like now,” Frankie interrupted, no longer willing to suffer the awkward exchange unfolding before her.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Ok,” Gail mumbled as she backed towards the doorway Frankie was standing in. 

“I’ll let you know if I find anything else,” Holly offered.

“Thank you,” Gail said, avoiding her eyes.

“It was nice to see you, Gail,” Holly said, looking wistfully at the departing detective. “And nice to meet you, Detective…uh…”

“Anderson, Frankie Anderson.”

Holly flashed a small, lopsided smile at the detectives as they left her lab. When the women had rounded the corner, Holly put her head in her hands. She took a deep, steadying breath, shook her head to clear it, and got back to the work at hand.

* * *

“What the hell was that?” Frankie demanded as she and Gail exited the morgue.

“What was what?”

“That painfully awkward, tension-filled excuse for a conversation you just had with the mortician?”

“She’s a forensic pathologist,” Gail said as she climbed into the driver’s seat of the car.

“So does this nerd have a name?” Frankie asked, buckling herself into the passenger seat.

Gail threw the car into drive and peeled out of the parking lot. Her eyes didn’t leave the road as she spoke.

“Her name is Holly Stewart.”

“Well she is fucking hot,” Frankie mused appreciatively.

“She’s not a piece of meat, Frankie,” Gail snapped, her knuckles turned white as her grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Is she like your side piece, or something?”

“What?” Gail asked incredulously. She hit the brakes a little too roughly and the car came to a rather abrupt stop at the stop sign. Gail turned to look at her partner.

“You’re awfully defensive, so I just assumed it’s because you’re tapping that,” Frankie said, shrugging her shoulders.

“I am not! I-I, where would you- what do you- I-” Gail took a steadying breath and continued on down the road. “She and I… we, uh, we dated a couple years ago.”

“And?” 

“And what? That’s it.”

“That is not all, you liar,” Frankie said. “You would not be this riled up over someone you dated ‘ _a couple years ago_ ’.”

Gail’s jaw clenched and she tightened her grip on the wheel, but she continued to stare straight ahead. After about a minute or two, Gail broke the silence.

“She left me,” Gail whispered so soft Frankie almost didn’t catch it. But Gail continued, and Frankie knew it was best to just let her get it all out. “She took a job in San Francisco. You know she asked me to come with her?” Gail glanced at Frankie, Frankie shook her head ‘no’. Gail continued, “We had just gotten back together after I was an idiot, and things were great. And then she dropped that on me. And I couldn’t tell her not to go, it was the opportunity of a lifetime. But I couldn’t just leave my life here. And on top of that, I was trying to adopt Sofie, and, well you know how that panned out.” Gail’s sentence trailed off.

“Did you guys try long distance?” Frankie asked softly, scared of startling Gail into silence.

“Frankie, I’m not even good at regular, close-distance relationships.”

“True, very true.” Frankie nodded in understanding.

The rest of the drive back to the 15th precinct was spent in silence.

* * *

Gail set her bag down by the front door of the apartment. The smell of garlic and onions filled her nose. She removed her jacket and hanged it on the coat rack before making her way to the kitchen. Sarah was standing at the counter, chopping some vegetables. She walked up quietly behind her fiancée and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s waist, pulling the woman gently back into herself. Gail tenderly trailed kisses down Sarah’s cheek and neck. Sarah stopped what she was doing and raised a hand up to cup Gail’s face.

“Hi,” she giggled.

“Mmm, something smells good,” Gail said.

“I’m making pasta.”

Gail pulled away from Sarah and grabbed the spoon from the pan on the stove. She scooped out a noodle and some sauce and quickly blew on it and shoved it in her mouth before Sarah could protest.

“Gail!” She exclaimed, smacking her gently on the arm with a potholder. “Get out of my kitchen!” She continued to swing at Gail.

Gail giggled as she defended herself from the onslaught with the potholder. She was able to catch Sarah’s arms and pin her against the counter, both women laughing as she did so. Gail caught her fiancée’s lips in a tender kiss. She released Sarah’s arms and moved her own hands to Sarah’s waist. Slowly, she moved her hands up and under Sarah’s shirt, caressing the soft skin at her hips. Sarah swatted her hands away gently.

“Go get settled. I’ll call you when dinner is ready,” Sarah said, ending her sentence with a quick kiss.

Gail shrugged out of her button up shirt and sighed in relief as she removed the cage of her bra and slipped her well-worn academy shirt over her head. She shimmied out of her slacks and slipped on her sweatpants. Then she made her way back out to the kitchen to set the table.

* * *

“So how was work today?” Sarah asked around a bite of pasta.

“Uh, it was ok,” Gail said. “Frankie and I are working a new case.”  
  
“Oh?” 

“Yeah, it’s early and we don’t have much evidence to go on just yet.” Gail took a large bite of her dinner.

“Is everything ok?” Sarah asked, looking up at the woman sitting across the table from her.

Gail stopped chewing and looked up at her fiancée.

“What?”

“Is everything ok? It’s just, you’ve been kind of… off, the past few days. Did something happen at work?”

Gail searched the eyes of the woman sitting in front of her. All she found was love and concern staring back at her.

“I’m fine,” Gail said. Sarah shot her a look of disbelief. “Really, I am. It’s just been a little stressful lately with the new rookies and what not.” She was only half lying, the rookies this year have been awful.

They rounded out their night watching a movie on the couch. Gail hadn’t paid much attention, but made an effort to laugh when Sarah did. Her mind was too preoccupied with rerunning the interaction between Holly and herself in the lab today.

When she had finished brushing her teeth and turned out the lights, Gail crawled into bed next to Sarah. She turned and snuggled into Gail’s chest. 

“Goodnight, baby,” she whispered. “I love you.”

Gail exhaled slowly before whispering,”I love you too.”


	3. Chapter 3

_~You go out cruising for a bruising,_ _An illusion that you use to cover up your broken heart~_

Holly is not happy. Ok, that’s an understatement. She is _pissed_. Lisa had dragged her along to meet up with whatever bimbo had become the flavor of the week: this week’s model was a young woman named Katie, and Holly had only been pretending to listen when she said what she did for a living. Holly thinks it was something along the lines of finance, or maybe it was accounting. Something boring. Katie seemed sweet and all, but she was…oblivious. And Holly knew that Lisa was just going to eat her up and spit her right back out again and that poor girl was in for heartbreak.

But it wasn’t the fact that Lisa had dragged her along to meet a girl, no. What really pissed Holly off was that Lisa had dragged her to _The Black Penny_. And she knew that Lisa knew full well that this bar was 15 Division’s turf and as Gail Peck’s ex, Holly was not welcome here. But Holly hadn’t known where they were going, no, Lisa had kept that a tight-lipped secret. And of course, Lisa had insisted on driving. Oh well, Holly didn’t see anyone she recognized, and she figured she could down a drink or two and then slip her way out and catch a taxi home. 

Holly was on her second drink when a group of off-duty 15 Division officers walked in the front door. Well, maybe she’d just slip out a little earlier than she’d originally planned. Holly had grabbed her jacket and was about to throw it on when she saw Gail walk through the door. _Shit_ , she thought, _There’s no way I can quietly sneak out with her standing right by the door_. 

While Holly was busy planning her escape, she did not realize someone was walking up to her.

“Holly! Hey! It’s so nice to see you!”

Holly snapped her head in the direction of the person talking. It took her a moment to focus on the face in front of her.

“Traci! Hi! How are you?” Holly held her hand out for a handshake, but Traci enveloped her in a tight hug. 

“Come have a drink! We should catch up,” Traci said, pulling Holly towards her table, which was currently occupied by Dov, Chloe, Nick, Chris, Andy, and Sam. 

Holly turned around to glance at the table she’d been at with Liza and Katie, but the other two had disappeared, presumably they were making out in the bathroom. 

A chorus of ‘hey’s and ‘how are you’s met Holly as she took the offered seat. She smiled warmly at everyone and gratefully accepted the offer of a drink from Chris.

She had tuned out most of the conversation and was focused on her drink. She’d leave after this one, make some polite excuse about having to be up early.

She took the last gulp of her beer right as Gail sat down across the table from her. They made eye contact as Gail slid another beer in front of Holly. The look in her eyes told Holly it was meant as a peace offering. She reached out to take the glass, her fingers briefly grazed Gail’s.

Several drinks later, and Holly was too buzzed to feel self-conscious about the tension between her and Gail. She was too busy watching Gail animatedly recount a tale from her rookie days to notice Traci watching her watch Gail. And she didn’t notice Traci grab her phone and shoot off a quick text, or that everyone around the table took their turn checking their phone, everyone except Gail. 

“You know what, I think it’s time for Dov and I to head out,” Chloe said in her cheerful manner. She finished her drink and tugged at Dov’s collar to get him to follow her lead. Chris stood too, downing the last of his beer.

“I’m their ride, so I should probably…” Chris trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. He grabbed his jacket and jogged after the other two.

“I’m…” Nick began, standing. “Gonna go flirt with the bartender.” He quickly walked away.

Sam saluted those left at the table, downed his drink, grabbed Andy’s hand and pulled her towards another table occupied by other off-duty police officers.

Traci stood and looked between the two women.

“I am gonna go get another drink,” Traci said as she waved her empty glass. “Either of you need a refill?”

“No, I’m good,” Gail and Holly said at the same time. They looked at each other and giggled like school children.

Traci made her way to the bar and sat next to Nick. They both chanced a glance over their shoulder to Holly and Gail, and quickly turned back to whisper to one another.

“So-” Holly began.

“Look-” Gail said at the same time. They both paused and looked at the other.

“Go ahead,” they said in unison.

Holly held her hand up and said, “So you’re getting married?” 

Gail looked down at her hands, which were fiddling with the beer glass and coaster.

“Yeah, I, uh… we haven’t set a date yet, but,” Gail cleared her throat, “um, she’s great. She’s really great.” Gail’s eyes didn’t leave her glass.

“I’m really happy for you,” Holly choked out. 

Gail looked up at her, surprised.

“You are?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m happy if you’re happy,” Holly whispered, using all her strength to fight back the tears threatening to escape.

Gail took a deep breath. “I am happy,” she said as she exhaled. “What about you?”

“Am I seeing someone?” Holly asked in return.

“Are _you_ happy?” Gail asked.

Holly smiled a small smile as she looked down at her lap. She briefly contemplated telling Gail the truth: that she wasn’t happy, that she missed Gail like she wouldn’t believe, or maybe she would. 

“I’m happy to be back,” Holly murmured.

“That’s not what I meant.” Gail gave her a pointed look.

“What do you want me to say, Gail?”

“I don’t know, Holly,” Gail snapped. “But you owe it to me to be honest.”

“I owe you?” Holly challenged.

“You left me, Holly,” Gail shot back, her icy stare locked onto Holly’s eyes.

“As I recall, I asked you to come with me,” Holly countered. She met Gail’s stare and refused to back down. “And you said no.”

“I was-“ Gail yelled, but quickly realized where she was and lowered her voice. “I was trying to adopt Sofie and you know that.”

“I asked you to visit…” Holly’s fire had died down somewhat, softened by the memory of the young girl.

“Holly, we weren’t even that good at a regular relationship.”

“Then why are you so upset that I left?”

The question caught Gail off guard. If she was being honest with herself, Gail knew exactly why she was so upset. But Gail had a nasty habit of lying to herself and she wasn’t about to change that now, even while drunk. Gail searched Holly’s eyes for… something. She wasn’t quite sure what she was hoping to find. But whatever she wanted to see, she didn’t see it reflected back at her. She gulped down the last of her drink and stood up from the table.

“Goodnight, Holly.”

But Holly wasn’t about to let this go. Maybe it was the alcohol fueling her forward, bound and determined to get some answers. She followed Gail out the back door that she didn’t know existed and made a mental note to use that exit next time. If there ever was a next time. 

“Just go home, Holly,” Gail pleaded, throwing her hands in the air and turning to face Holly. The action had stopped Holly short and she was only a couple steps away from the other woman.

“Not until you tell me why you are so goddamn pissed at me,” Holly said. She crossed her arms over her chest to protect against the chill in the air.

“ _You_ left me,” Gail repeated.

“And _you_ told me to go,” Holly argued. The cold was quickly sobering her up enough to think this may have been a bad idea.

“I-” Gail began, taking a step forward, “I never-” Gail’s gaze dropped to Holly’s lips briefly, then back up to her big, brown eyes. 

Gail closed the distance between them quickly, grabbing Holly’s face between her hands, and pulling her into a searing kiss. Both women poured their long pent-up feelings for the other into this kiss. Holly’s hands grabbed haphazardly at Gail’s jacket, trying to pull her as close as possible. Gail let her left hand travel up into Holly’s hair to grasp at the back of her head, keeping her there. The other hand smoothed down Holly’s chest and abdomen, then made its way around to her back, her nails scratching at Holly’s skin through her shirt.

Oblivious to the world around them, Gail walked Holly backwards and pinned her up against the brick wall. Holly had moved her hands inside Gail’s jacket and was toying with the hem of her shirt, flirting with the skin of Gail’s waist. Gail’s hand slid down to grasp the back of Holly’s neck while the other slid down to palm Holly’s ass. She squeezed roughly, enjoying the moan the action elicited. Her hand continued downward, pulling Holly’s thigh up and onto her hip. Gail used the new position to slip her own leg in between Holly’s and pushed herself impossibly closer. Holly gasped at the new contact and gently bit Gail’s bottom lip, pulling slightly, then soothing the area with her tongue. Gail’s moan was swallowed by Holly as she pulled Gail into another openmouthed kiss. 

The side door swung open and banged loudly against the brick wall, startling Gail and Holly. Two giggling strangers playing grab-ass walked away from them. Gail jumped away from Holly and wiped at her mouth. Holly watched the other woman try to compose herself, and noted that the two strangers never even looked back. They probably hadn’t even known she and Gail were there. Gail finally looked back at Holly with something in her eyes Holly couldn’t quite read. Regret, maybe? Disappointment? 

“I-” Gail started and stopped immediately. She looked at Holly, searching her face for something to tell her to just leave.

“I missed you,” Holly confessed. It threw Gail off guard, she didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t that. 

It was however, enough to pull Gail back towards Holly. She pulled greedily at Holly, crashing their lips together again. 

* * *

Gail rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. She stretched and felt the cool sheets on her naked skin. Turning her head, she looked at Holly laying next to her, still fast asleep. She reached a hand out to push back the hair on Holly’s face, but stopped short. Slowly, carefully, Gail climbed out of the bed. She grabbed her clothes and made her way silently out of the room, dressing in the hallway. She looked back at the once familiar entryway, before exiting the townhouse. She made sure the doorknob was locked before shutting it behind her. The drive to her apartment was quiet, the roads empty this early in the morning. 

Gail silently unlocked the door and entered the living room. She made her way to the bedroom. Sarah was still sleeping. Gail entered the bathroom and closed the door so she wouldn’t disturb her. Gail washed her face and grabbed her toothbrush. She’d need to shower before Sarah woke. She was positive she smelled of sex and alcohol. Grabbing the edge of the sink and resting her weight on her arms, Gail looked at her reflection. What the fuck had she been thinking? She hadn’t, and that was the problem.

Gail turned the shower on to let the water heat while she finished brushing her teeth. In the mirror, she saw the bathroom door open a sliver. 

“Gail?” Sarah asked sleepily as she poked her head in the door. 

“Hey, baby,” Gail soothed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Did you just get home? Where were you?”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t call. I went over to Traci’s and we were playing board games with Leo and I just lost track of time and then we all passed out watching TV,” Gail said, the lies flowing from her mouth with ease. She felt herself becoming someone she didn’t recognize.

“It’s fine, babe. Take a shower and I’ll make us some breakfast,” Sarah said, smiling sweetly before pulling her head back and shutting the door.

Gail took her time, letting the hot water fall over her body. She replayed the events of last night in her head. If she concentrated, she could still feel Holly’s lips on her own. Her hand absentmindedly moved up to touch her lips. _Stop it_ , she told herself, _You love Sarah._ She finished the rest of her shower trying to think of her week ahead, anything that would keep her mind off of Holly.

* * *

The light filtering through the curtains woke Holly from her slumber. She yawned as she stretched and reached over to check her phone on the night stand. She had slept much later than she’d intended. Holly stretched again and felt the post-sex soreness in her muscles. She rolled over, expecting to snuggle up to Gail, but her sheets were empty. Holly sat up, confused. Running her fingers through her hair, Holly swung her legs over the edge of her bed and looked around the room. She reached over and grabbed her glasses off her night stand, putting them on, she looked around the room again. Her clothes from last night were scattered across her floor, but Gail’s were gone. Panic began to rise into Holly’s chest. She wouldn’t just leave, would she? _Of course she would,_ Holly thought, _she’s Gail._ Holly got up and grabbed her robe from where it was hanging on the back of her bedroom door and threw it on. She made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, suddenly aware of how empty her house was. She opened the pantry, but nothing looked appetizing. With a heavy sigh, Holly made her way back upstairs to shower and clean up. 

Holly was toweling her hair dry when she heard her phone ring. She ran to her bed and grabbed her phone, hoping that maybe it was Gail calling. She didn’t bother to check the i.d. before answering. 

“Hello?”

“Hey! You busy today?” 

“Rachel?”

“Yeah… who else did you expect?” Rachel asked. 

“I, uh… no one. Sorry. What’s up?” 

“I was gonna see if you wanted to come to brunch with Lisa and I? Well, Lisa and her new girlfriend and I?” Rachel waited for a response, but when the silence lasted longer than was socially acceptable, she continued. “Please don’t make me go by myself. You know how insufferable Lisa is with her new toys,” she pleaded.

“Yeah,” Holly spoke softly. “I’ll go.” She probably should get out for a bit, especially after last night. If she was home alone all day, she’d just spend it in her own head overthinking. 

* * *

Holly slowly stirred the straw in her water glass as she stared out the window, replaying last nights events over and over in her mind. Had she said something wrong? Had she done something? Gail still hadn’t replied to her text message. Then again, Holly should know that this is how Gail tends to deal with things. 

“Earth to Holly.” 

Lisa’s voice invaded her thoughts and brought her back to the present. Holly whipped her head in the direction of the voice across the table.

“What’s up?” Holly asked.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?” Lisa asked as she took a long drink from her mimosa. “You disappeared last night and you’ve been weird all morning.”

Holly took a steadying drink of her own mimosa before answering, “It’s just been a weird week.” Holly waved her hand dismissively, hoping her friends would let the subject drop.

“Bullshit,” Lisa exclaimed. “Something happened last night, didn’t it?”

Goddamn her stupid friends and how well they knew her. 

“It’s nothing,” Holly mumbled.

“Spill,” Rachel said, turning in her seat to face her friend. 

“You got laid,” Lisa stated, a knowing grin spreading across her face. She sat back in her chair triumphantly and threw her arm around Katie.

“I…um, nothing. Nothing happened,” Holly said, avoiding all eye contact with her friends. 

“You are a terrible liar,” Rachel said.

Holly looked between her friends, Rachel had her chin in her hand as her elbow rested on the table and an expectant look on her face, while Lisa sipped on her mimosa and continued grinning at her. Holly sighed loudly and hid her face in her hands.

“I slept with Gail,” she mumbled through her fingers.

“What?” Rachel reached out to move one of Holly’s hands from her face.

“I slept with Gail,” Holly said a little louder, one hand still covering her eyes.

“WHAT?” Both her friends exclaimed at the same time.

Holly ignored their question and downed the rest of her drink. She flagged down the waiter and raised her glass in a silent plea for more alcohol. 

“Details. Now.” Lisa had straightened up in her seat.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Holly all but whispered as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. “It was a mistake.”

“Oh no, start from the beginning, now,” Rachel said, then tacked on a quick “Please.”

Holly should have known they’d figure out something was bothering her, and part of her wanted them to figure it out so she could work through everything with them. But boy she did not want to talk about it here, especially in front of Lisa’s new girlfriend.

“She showed up just as I was about to leave and we… talked. Well, argued really,” Holly began. “And then next thing I know, she’s kissing me in the alley and we went back to mine.” 

“So it was hate sex?” Lisa asked.

“No. I mean I don’t think so. It didn’t feel like that.”

“Isn’t she engaged?” Rachel asked, confused.

“Yes,” Holly said. Her refill had arrived just in time. She downed it before the waiter could even turn away and was already requesting another. Good thing they were bottomless with brunch. 

“She left, didn’t she? And that’s who you were expecting when I called, isn’t it?” Rachel asked, finally understanding what had been bothering her friend.

“I don’t know what time she left. And she hasn’t responded to my texts, but that’s kind of classic Gail,” Holly said.

“Well fuck her,” Lisa said, finishing her own drink and flagging down the waiter for another.

“Lisa!” Rachel exclaimed.

“No, I’m serious, she’s a bitch. She told you to go off to California, she doesn’t get to be mad at you for leaving and then mess with your feelings when you get back,” Lisa said matter-of-factly. “She supposedly moved on and then she goes and cheats, is that really someone you want in your life?”

Holly choked on her water. 

“That’s kind of the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” Holly taunted.

“Don’t you go projecting onto me,” Lisa hissed. 

The waiter returned with a round of mimosas for the four women. They drank in silence for a moment.

“Holly what were you thinking?” Rachel asked softly, like a mother trying to understand a child’s actions.

“Obviously she wasn’t,” Lisa scoffed.

“Fuck you, Lisa,” Holly snapped.

Both women looked in opposite directions.

“Holly,” Rachel tried again, softly.

“I know it was a mistake, Rach,” Holly said, continuing to stare out the window.

“Honey, I think you need to just let her go. I mean look at what happened last time,” Rachel said, “She ignored you for weeks and it tore you up. I just don’t think she’s going to talk it out like you want.”

“I know,” Holly said, defeated. She didn’t want to talk about this any more. What she really wanted was to go home and cry in her comfy clothes.

“Plus I doubt she’s gonna leave her fiancée for you,” Lisa interjected.

Rachel shot her a disapproving look and turned her attention back to Holly. Holly downed her drink, threw a few bills on the table, and without a word, got up and walked out. She knew better than to talk about anything Gail related with Lisa.

“Look what you did,” Rachel scolded.

“What? Am I wrong?” Lisa asked, feigning innocence. She turned her attention back to Katie. 

Rachel shook her head as she grabbed a few bills to cover her portion of brunch and got up from the table as well.

“So that’s it? Brunch is just over?” Lisa asked.

“I’m not gonna be a third wheel while you suck face and forget I’m here.” And with that Rachel left, hoping she could catch up to her brokenhearted friend before she did something stupid.

* * *

Holly was worn down and it was beginning to show. She ran her hands over her face and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was greasy, not that anyone but her could really tell. She hated to admit that it had been several days since she’d last showered. The bags under her eyes had become a permanent fixture on her face. Most nights she was lucky if she only woke up once, but she never felt rested come morning. At least her clothes were clean, albeit wrinkled. She made her way back to her office, but stopped short at the sight of bleach blonde hair in her lab. 

Gail stood with her back to the door. She was looking at the photos on Holly’s desk. 

Holly took a deep breath to settle herself and walked into the room. She gently cleared her throat to announce her presence. Gail spun around at the sound.

“Hi,” Gail said softly.

“How can I help you, Detective Peck?” Holly asked, attempting to keep her face as passive as possible.

Gail’s face fell slightly. 

“I need to know if you found anything else in relation to the homicide on Euclid,” Gail said, her tone all business. 

“Yes,” Holly began, “I found some hairs on the victim that were not his.”

“Could they belong to the perp?” Gail asked, taking a step closer to Holly. 

“Only if the perp is a new breed of dog that has opposable thumbs,” Holly chuckled.

“What?” 

“I found dog hair on the victim, and as far as I’ve been told, he did not have a dog,” Holly explained.

“Oh,” Gail said, nodding in understanding.

“So if any of your suspects have a dog, I can match the hairs.”

“Anything else?”

“The blood spatter sample you gave me does not belong to the victim. I ran it through the database but did not find any matches. Same with the fingerprints.”

“Got it. Thank you for the update,” Gail said before walking towards the doorway.

“You could have just called,” Holly said.

“What?” Gail asked, stopping just short of the doorway. 

“You could have called, you didn’t need to come all the way down here.”

“Would you prefer that I don’t come here?” Gail asked without turning around.

“Gail,” Holly said softly, “I think we should talk.” 

“No, Holly, I don’t think we should.” She knew what Holly meant, but she was not prepared to have this discussion.

“We need to talk about what happened the other—”

“Nothing happened.” Gail emphasized as she turned to face the other woman.

“Gail—”

“No, Holly,” Gail began, “I’m engaged. I’m getting married! This,” she gestured between them, “cannot happen. There can’t be— _there is_ nothing between us. It was a mistake. It should have never happened.”

“Oh. Um,” Holly cleared her throat. “Ok.”

“I _can’t_ do this.” Gail whispered.

“You think this is easy for me?”

“That’s not what I—”

“I have to watch you be happy with someone who isn’t me, knowing that it should be me, but I went and fucked it up by leaving.” Tears threatened to spill over the corners of Holly’s eyes, she blinked them back momentarily.

Gail looked back at her, on the verge of tears as well.

“And now you’re back and I can’t look at you because all I see is the woman who left me. But I can’t look at Sarah either because when I do, all I see is that she isn’t you.” Gail grabbed the edge of the metal table and rested her weight on her arms. “I’m loyal, Holly. I am fiercely loyal and I betrayed the one person I’m supposed to cherish forever. And I can’t even bring myself to regret it because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

A single tear rolled down Gail’s cheek. She roughly wiped it away and all but ran out of the room.

Holly stood still and just let the tears fall.


End file.
